Bullying
Bullying is when someone intentionally says or does mean things to another person. Often times a bully will use strength or influence to force someone into doing what they want. Although bullying is often one person trying to gain power over another, groups can get involved. There could be people who support the bully, or the person being bullied. For the behavior to be considered bullying, it must be intentional, and with a few exceptions, has to be something that happens more than once. (This means the bullying behaviors must happen more than once or have the potential to happen more than once.) While it may not always be easy to see, when a person is being bullied, there is some type of power imbalance. This power imbalance is most often social. Bullying is used to gain control over others, and often bullies will choose to target individuals who they see as different, those with fewer friends and/or fewer social supports.
Most of reported bullying happens in a school building. A high amount also happens on the playground or the bus. However, bullying can happen after school hours, on the internet, or in a child’s neighborhood.
Bullying comes in many forms:
- Physical Bullying is the most obvious form of intimidation and can consist of kicking, hitting, biting, pinching, hair pulling, and making threats. A bully may threaten to punch you if you don’t give up your money, your lunch, etc.
- Verbal Bullying often accompanies physical behavior. This can include name calling, spreading rumors, and persistent teasing.
- Emotional Intimidation is closely related to these two types of bullying. A bully may deliberately exclude you from a group activity such as a party or school outing.
- Racist Bullying can take many forms: making racial slurs, spray painting graffiti, mocking the victim’s cultural customs, and making offensive gestures.
- Sexual Bullying is unwanted physical contact or abusive comments.
- Cyberbullying is one or a group of kids or teens using electronic means via computers and mobile phones (emails, Web sites, chat rooms, instant messaging and texting) to torment, threaten, harass, humiliate, embarrass or target another kid or teen.
- Social bullying is saying and doing things to make others think badly about the person being bullied. This could be spreading rumors about someone, trying to encourage others to exclude them, or getting others to pick on and bully them as well.
We have got to dispel this myth that bullying is just a normal rite of passage.
SIGNS THAT YOUR CHILD MAY BE BULLIED
- Unexplained injuries
- Lost or destroyed clothing, books, electronics or jewelry
- Frequent headaches or stomach aches
- Changes in eating habits
- Difficulty sleeping or frequent nightmares
- Declining grades, loss of interest in schoolwork, or not wanting to go to school
- Decreased self esteem
- Self-destructive behaviors
SIGNS THAT YOUR CHILD MAY BE BULLYING OTHERS
- Getting into physical or verbal fights
- Having friends who bully others
- Increasing aggressiveness
- Having unexplained extra money or new belongings
- Blaming others for their problems
- Doesn’t accept responsibility for their actions
- Are competitive and worry about their reputation or popularity
SIGNS THAT YOUR CHILD MAY BE BULLIED
- Unexplained injuries
- Lost or destroyed clothing, books, electronics or jewelry
- Frequent headaches or stomach aches
- Changes in eating habits
- Difficulty sleeping or frequent nightmares
- Declining grades, loss of interest in schoolwork, or not wanting to go to school
- Decreased self esteem
- Self-destructive behaviors
SIGNS THAT YOUR CHILD MAY BE BULLYING OTHERS
- Getting into physical or verbal fights
- Having friends who bully others
- Increasing aggressiveness
- Having unexplained extra money or new belongings
- Blaming others for their problems
- Doesn’t accept responsibility for their actions
- Are competitive and worry about their reputation or popularity
It is important to talk with children who show signs of being bullied or bullying others. These warning signs can also point to other issues or problems, such as depression or substance abuse. Talking to the child can help identify the root of the problem.
To learn more, or if you yourself are being bullied, please call our hotline at 860.763.4542 to speak with an advocate today. The website stompoutbullying.org has additional bullying information as well as a chatline. This blog on cyberbullying offers some great insights.